Monday, May 2, 2011

The Inner, Relaxed State

I seem to keep reading articles on introversion lately, or running across people talking about it or mentioning it. I know I've been extra introverted lately. Maybe that's just my mind's way of dealing with it, like, "See, it's not so strange, after all. There are other introverts out there."

As an INFP, I am definitely extremely introverted, and for some reason it goes in waves. Like, some days I'll feel like being around people and getting out there and discovering life. Then other days I'll just want to hibernate and not speak to anyone. Generally when I've gotten my energies back up, I'm perfectly fine to go out and be around people again, but it tends to take me a long time to get to that point.

I get tired of constantly being misunderstood, though. The main thing I think people don't get about introverts is that most of us aren't shy or socially-awkward. It's not like we don't know how to talk to people. We just... get really worn out in social situations. Whereas most people, I think, get energized around other people, introverts feel drained. Being alone, for us, is what energizes us and recharges our batteries, so to speak.

The worst is when I'm purposefully doing something alone that I love doing alone and people act like there's something wrong with me or that I need saving somehow because of that. One of my favorite alone things to do is go to the movies by myself. And yet, I rarely mention it to people (that I go alone, I mean) because when I do, I get that puppy-look from people like they wish they'd known I wanted to go see such-and-such movie because they would've gone with me and saved me from having to sit by myself.

It's like, no really... I love going by myself. I absolutely love it. There's just something about losing myself in the storyline that amazes me. It's jarring, almost, when I go with other people to a movie that I really wanted to see. They're talking and laughing and watching me to see my reaction to things (at least I feel like they are - maybe they aren't really). It's just really hard to just sink in and feel the movie wash over me when other people that I know are around. If that makes any sense. I feel like, because they express everything outwardly, I can't quite slip into the inner, relaxed state that I usually slip into when watching a movie.

Now certain people are perfectly fine to go out with. Other introverts, generally, are fun to hang out with because they, too, like to zone out and think and ponder. Silence doesn't seem quite so loud around them because I know they enjoy it as much as I do. They know how to lose themselves in a movie, for example.

I wonder sometimes though... when I'm around a lot of extroverts... am I trying to over-compensate for liking the silence? Like somehow, am I subconsciously apologizing for liking something that they don't? I don't know. Food for thought.

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EDIT:

A quick, but surprisingly accurate personality test can be found here on BlogThings. There are quite a few tests online based on the Myers-Briggs personality test, but most are amazingly looooong. This one on BlogThings is 40 questions, which is long for that website, but very short compared to other M-B tests. I'd be curious to see what personality types my readers are, so feel free to post your results below!

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