Friday, July 1, 2011

A Lot Less Stressful

Well I'm posting from my iPhone today, so no pictures for you. For some reason the Squarespace app crashes and burns when I try to load photos with it. Lol.

I'm feeling slightly better today, emotionally and physically, unless you count the nervous stomach feeling that won't go away. I took my forced vacation day and went to visit my parents. My mom's always good at being comforting and my dad's good at dispensing practical advice. Plus I was driving myself crazy sitting alone in my apartment with all the "what if"s running around in my head.

I'm 99% sure that I'm going to quit. The more I thought about all the shady things they've done in the past to other previous employees, the more I realized that they most likely were going to make it really difficult for me to be there and/or fire me when I went in, even though they already said they weren't going to. And really, considering that I did nothing wrong, what can I promise them to make amends... that I'll never be sick again as long as I work there?

Employees have a tendency to just disappear from this company. I don't mean dead, but just like... mysteriously not working there with no notice. We're never told if they quit, retired, went on extended vacation or sick leave, etc. They're just gone. Then I realized that the time they asked me to come in on Tuesday was break-time, which was the same time of day that the last office worker disappeared. Less witnesses to see me walk out, I think. Maybe I've watched a little too much X-Files, but I'm starting to feel like I'm on the wrong end of a conspiracy here.

It may be cowardly, but I don't have the strength to fight for my right to keep working there when I was planning to cut back my hours in three months to go to school anyway (a fact that I hadn't actually told them yet). Maybe this is God's way of nudging me on a little early. I feel like, with my skills and experience, I could easily find a job through a temp agency for the summer, which would be a lot less stressful than working for people who clearly have it out for me. And who knows, the temp place may even help me get a part-time job for the school year. Then, once I get some graphic design experience under my belt, I can start looking for work in that field.

My dad reminded me that once a boss decides they don't like you, they can often make it miserable to work under them. I have a feeling, if he were me, he would stay and try to fight them a little longer. He was getting all fired up just hearing me talk about the situation! Lol. But, I'm a very non-confrontational person in general, and I think trying to stay would cause so much unnecessary stress in my life, just being around people like that. I've given them four years of my skills and I think it's time to cut my losses and move on.

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